no one is as lucky as us

You can take the title of this post both at face value and sarcastically. For two different reasons:

I skipped work Friday morning to go to the doctor for the first time since...I don't know...2008? I'm usually a pretty healthy type of lady, but I've been having some...ahem...issues that have gone on for way too long, so I sucked it up and went in. For the long and short of it, I'm absolutely fine. But I did scare Nate because his shift at work was cancelled so he walked up to my appointment with me Friday morning and I was in with the ARNP for about 45 minutes, but I was a new patient, so lots of questions and paperwork equal a longer appointment. He had no need to worry =)

Backing up, we were planning on going to Target on Thursday evening to switch out our coffee maker, which crapped out on Tuesday morning. I guess technically it crapped out Monday afternoon, but I already had my coffee for that day, so we didn't notice anything until Nate try to rewarm the extra coffee from the morning later that day...which just didn't work (and as a side note, this is the second of this particular kind of coffee pot that has crapped out on us for various reasons.) In any case, Nate gets ready to pick me up after work, goes out to the car and the back passenger window is smashed in. Awesome. So I walk home, we wander around in circles for a while before deciding we need to go out, anyway, to find a place with a vacuum to clean out the car, anyway. While trying to clear out the stuff from the car, we discover that our inverter is gone, as is a duffle bag, a bag of change (plus all the change in the change drawer -- mostly dimes, nickels and pennies,) flashlight, the remote for the radio, Nate's extra pair of glass (they have a prescription, what is anyone else going to do with them?)and the DUCT TAPE?! The fuse cover is off, but the radio hasn't been touched, and the faceplate for it (which we keep in the glove compartment) is still there. As is our tent, folding chairs, Nate's OBDII reader, rope and various other camping equipment, including our tent. What random items to take.

While we were cleaning everything out, we talked to a guy who had also had his car broken into and they'd swiped his fishing gear, but not his tent. He said that between Monday night and Tuesday morning, all the 4x4's that were parked on the bridge near our apartment had been broken into. Ridiculous.

At this point it's starting to rain, because we live in Seattle, so we decide to head out to vacuum out the car and find some new duct tape. We wound up at Target, anyway, and go a new coffee maker. After returning the old one, we sprung for a better (read: more expensive) type, with a timer and different strengths of brew. Fancy.

The other thing that crapped out on us was our free old-school TV that we got from Craigslist when we first got here. I turned it on one day and it was just a colored line in the middle of a black screen. Nate fixed it (first by taking the back completely apart and moving stuff around, and then by banging on the sides of the TV until the picture spread back out,) and that stuck for a while, but then it decided it didn't like being hit anymore and that stopped working. So the other thing we bought at Target was a new, 26" LED TV. Oh yes, it's awesome. Nate has already found things wrong with it, but he does concede that the picture is way better than he had thought it would be. But the USB port doesn't seem to working, so we can't upgrade the firmware like we're supposed to, according to Westinghouse's website. Ah well, you can't have everything work perfectly, can you? Oh wait, maybe that's just us...

So we have a new TV and a new coffee maker, but we still have to fix the window on the car. It's a balance, you see? No, I don't really either.

-C

the times we had (wee bit wednesday)

Link up over at Leigh Ashley's blog!

{one} have you ever been stuck in an elevator?nope!
{two} have you ever ridden on an elephant?no. it's definitely on my life list, though. along with riding on a camel!
{three} have you ever met a well known celebrity?Jessica Biel! She hung out at my house! I've also met Tony Hale (Arrested Development) and Cheryl Hines (Curb Your Enthusiasm/RV) because they are from my home town and went to my theatre -- way before I did -- so they would come back to visit. I also went to theatre with Allison Miller (Kings) and have sung with Anoop Desai (American Idol) via a cappella in college. Do they count?Ooh, I was also super-close to getting to meet Ben Folds, because my a cappella group from college was one of the ones contacted about being on his a cappella CD he put out. But it wound up Florida was too far for him to fly to record. And because it was after I'd graduated, I didn't get to open for his show in Florida with the current (at the time) group, so I didn't get to meet him. Wah. {four} do you have any food allergies?Not really. My skin is irritated by citrus juice, though? {five} do you know how to sew?I used to, when I was younger. I took sewing classes when I was in elementary/middle school, and sewed some with my Aunt when we visisted her, but I haven't really sewed since then.
{six} did you get an allowance when you were young?I used to get $20 a week in high school (before I started driving) to spend on lunch. I usually brought lunch, though, so I wound up spending it on snacks and drinks after school. Mostly, though, I was out of the house so much that my parents gave me money for things like gas (whether it was mine or paying someone else) and food, since theatre and chorus took up so much of my time. {seven} how often do you fill up your gas tank?Not very often. We don't drive the car very often, anymore.
{eight} have you ever been stung by a jelly fish?Yup, but not a bad sting. It mostly just itches.{nine} have you ever been robbed?Yes. When I was in high school, I had my phone and wallet taken off a table at FunStation. More recently, our house was broken into while we were living in MA and they stole a lot of things -- my laptop, the Wii & games, my Gameboy, my jewelry. They didn't take my Kindle, though, or the PS2 or my iPod dock. It was strange and probably one of the worst memories I have. (Sorry for reminding you, Nate.){ten} what is the worst haircut you’ve ever had?I don't think I've ever had a bad haircut. I did have a cut I didn't really like in 10th grade, but that's because the made me cut it off for a play -- not because it looked bad or anything. I also had a short cut my junior year of college that I wound up not loving, but that's just because I decided I don't like my face shape with short hair. 

all the little ants go marching (30-day writing challenge: day two)

Together, but not together, and she is fresh out of ideas.

“So we’re dating, but…we’re not saying that we’re dating?” She asks, brows furrowing as she tries to understand. “I don’t get it. What’s the point?”

He has been gazing – no, not gazing, staring – at her for the past few minutes, silently, though the look in his eyes screams of distance. Her eyes find familiarity in his face as he searches for an answer. There’s a loose curl hanging in front of the barely noticeable scar on his forehead. Unthinkingly, she reaches out to tuck it back. He doesn’t move away, but he doesn’t react, either.

“I love you.”

As if that’s his answer.

She frowns. Not out of sadness or disgust, but confusion. Well, mostly confusion.

“But you love her, too.”

It’s not a question, but a statement, and his eyes shift away for the first time since he finished the phone call. He shrugs, looking somehow defeated and combative at the same time. “I love a lot of people.”

“Well, so do I,” She replies, trying desperately not to hiss the words through her teeth. “but I don’t tell them. I don’t talk to them that way. Not like that.”  

The last three thoughts come out more quickly, more jumbled, than she had meant. With more intensity than she had anticipated. She sighs, trying to gather her thoughts and her breath. She realizes that her fists are clenched at her sides, so she slowly unclenches them, trying to make the motions seem involuntary. Not that he believes that they are, but she might trick herself into believing they are.

“It’s complicated. You know that, I told you that.”

He’s trying to explain, in his own way. He doesn’t want to hurt her, but now he’s too scared of his own emotions to look her in the eye. He’s afraid she’ll see what he’s thinking. Not that he doesn’t care, but that he cares too much. He can’t give himself away like she can – like she has. He admires her for that, but he’s starting to think that it won’t be enough. It won’t ever be enough.

There’s a long silence before either of them speak. Before either of them move again.

“Ok.” She says, finally breaking the silence. “Ok.”

His head jerks up sharply, and he looks at her, searching for any hint of reserve. “Ok?”

She nods – maybe a little too enthusiastically -- forcing her mouth into an awkward smile, trying to shake off the tension still gripping her shoulders. And she thinks to herself, If you can be that way, so can I.

(day two prompt: a couple)

acceptable lies

I find it acceptable when the weather channel says it's going to be rainy, but in actuality, it's sunny and bright with fluffy white clouds.

Yesterday, though, it was really strange. It was sunny and raining (as a sidenote: Apparently that doesn't happen here. Florida, though? It happens all the time. It's called a sunshower and I've known about them since I can remember being aware of water falling from the sky. Who knew they don't happen everywhere?) for about 10 minutes before I left work, stayed completely clear long enough for me to walk home, and then promptly started raining again. Not complaining, just interesting.

In other news, our $10, no-frills coffee maker we bought from Target when we first got here crapped out yesterday morning. It made coffee for me Monday morning, but then wouldn't heat up the leftover coffee for Nate when he got up. And then it just didn't even try yesterday. Sad face. So now that Nate's feeling better, part of his job for today is to get a new coffee maker. Hopefully we can get one with a timer on it, so the coffee will make itself in the morning and give me one less thing to do. We had a coffee maker (well, Nate had a coffee maker) like this in Medford that we never used, but that's because we were not trying to hold on to as much money from each paycheck as possible and also because the draw of awesome Dunkin' Donuts iced two blocks from work in one direction and an awesome little one-off coffee shop with my especially favorite Spanish Lattes one block in the other direction was just too great. If I had thousands of dollars to spend, I would totally get one of the capuccino makers we saw at Sur la Table the other day. But seriously? You can buy a car for what one of those babies cost. And really, I just can't imagine taking out a loan (or having a payment plan) for a coffee machine. If you can afford that, can't you afford to go to (your choice of coffee shop here) and have them make it for you every day?

{via}

Fancy.

I've also decided I want a grill pan (although, come to think of it, does anyone know if you can use those on electric burners?) because pictures of grilled veggies on the blogs I read always look so delicious. I'm not usually one for grilling, but I think a grill pan would be the perfect combination of regular cooking and actually using a grill. It'd be a nice change from roasting and steaming all our veg.

{via}

Someday, I am going to have entirely too much fun putting together a wedding registry. For serious.

-C

we had caught on fire (ten on tuesday)

Link up this week over at Chealsea's blog, Roots and Rings!

Ten on Tuesday

1. How many blogs do you read every day and what are they? (I’m talking the ones you NEVER miss)
I have a lot of blogs on my Google Reader, so I don't often NEVER miss one. Sorry, guys.

2. How many “best friends” do you have? Do you have different “besties” for different areas of your life?
I would say I have four best, best friends: Jessica (starting in 4th grade,) and Leslie, Jessamyn and Megan (from high school, esp. senior year.) I also have Zoe, my best friend from Boston.

3. What’s your daily make up routine?
Uhm...nothing? If I can find the time to put something on (other than my full face,) it's usually mascara, hi-liter and blush. Or just mascara.

4. What is your ideal girl’s night?
Probably wine and dancing. Maybe just wine and dessert. Mmm...fondue.

5. Do you keep up with your nails/toenails or are they au natural?
I kept up with them when I worked at a salon. Now they're bare more often than not. And I try to remember to cut them. =\

6. What’s your best roommate story (assuming you had a roommate at some point in your life)?
So I'm not sure this is so much "best" as "most creepy," but when I was living with my roommate in Boston, Nate dropped me off at home one night to find a random guy I didn't know hanging out on our couch and my roommate in her room with some other guy with the door closed. I went into my room, closed the door and called Nate to come back because I was so creeped out. He didn't offer any explanation as to who he was or why he was there, he just said 'hi' and stared blankly off into space ITWASSOCREEPY! Oh yeah, and I guess there's the time my roommate had a 4th of July Party and one of her friends invited Jessica Biel, so Jessica Biel was at my house. You know, no big deal.

7. What’s your “go to” outfit that you wear more than anything else?
Express Favorite Tee or Sexy V-Neck Tee with jeans and a cardigan/hoodie. I'm such a homebody, it's all about comfort.

8. Do you have a beauty secret?
It took me a long time to figure out how to even do my makeup so...no. Not really. Except that usually, less is more. You don't need no cakey foundation to layer your four colors of eyeshadow on unless you're planning on being in a photo shoot.

9. Did you read Seventeen magazine growing up?
Nope. I didn't read magazines unless my parents ordered them or they were available elsewhere for free. I read a lot of Better Homes and Gardens.

10. How did you learn to put on makeup?
I did theatre starting in 4th grade, so I learned mostly through that. I didn't really play around with makeup until college, when I had friends who really knew how to do it. I guess I learned through a combination of things.

-C

64 and Sunny

Today it looked like this:

 

It never really got above 65, but it was pretty warm in the sun. All I had on was jeans and a t-shirt, but sitting in direct sunlight I got hot after a while. Not hot enough to move (because I'm actually a lizard and I get my energy from direct sunlight,) but hot. I dropped Nate off at work, went to the drug store to get him some cough drops and Zicam, dropped those back off to him at work and went to wander around. I hit up Bed, Beth and Beyond, Nordstrom Rack and H&M quickly before wandering down to the water. Everyone was out and about, plus it's the SakuraCon this weekend, so the streets were kind of congested, but I managed to find a small open area next to Anthony's at Pier 66 to sit and stare out at the water. Since I brought my Kindle, I read for a while, too.

For dinner, we got some delicious appetizers at Noc Noc, a really cool bar with a crazy gothic atmosphere. Then we came home and watched a HORRIBLE movie, Night of the Demons. It was kind of a remake of a bad 80's movie that Nate had seen when he was younger. It was neither scary nor sexy, despite all the slutty Halloween costumes. It was just...bad.

I didn't drink enough water while I was walking around and sitting in the sun, so I'm feeling a little dehydrated. It's unfortunate because I'm tired but I'm not sleepy, since we didn't get up until almost noon, so I'm watching 16 and Pregnant. Television at its finest. Oh yeah.

-C

you're what we were (30-day writing challenge)

Staring up at the ceiling, her mind makes up scenarios.

The camera angle widens; the shot becomes clearer, zooming out to reveal the sides of a vintage, claw-foot tub. The shower curtain wraps around the outside, dark and red, filtering crimson light over her catatonic stare. Cut to a shot looking up, watching the water fall from the showerhead. It pans down, past her feet, resting above the spigot. Past her knees, bruised and discolored...

She blinks a few times, wiping her eyes with her fingertips to clear the water from her lashes as she sits up. Wrapping her arms around her knees, she sits with her back to the water, letting the beads of scaldingly hot water pummel her skin. The heat dries her out, makes her itchy later, but the all-inclusive warmth is worth it, in the moment.

Her eyes close and she leans against the side of the tub, letting her head fall forward. The water rushes down over the top of her head, forcing her hair to clump and fall, hanging like curtains on either side of her face. The water makes it dark and heavy. She disappears into the sound of the falling water. It's soothing, like rain, but also loud and tumultuous. Like a storm or a waterfall. It's white noise, and it drowns out everything else so that for a while, she can just...be. Existence is enough.

She doesn't have to please anyone. She doesn't have to listen to anyone; she doesn't even have to deal with her own thoughts. It's enough, just like this. It's enough, just to forget.

{via}

(day one prompt: something you love)

30-Day Writing Challenge

This is something I've been thinking about for a while -- a way to spark creativity. I used to write constantly. I would fill yellow legal notepads full of science fiction and fantasy, colored with a bits of things I knew and things I wished I knew. And when all else failed, I would write - backwards - the name of everyone I knew. Classmates, teachers, friends, celebrities, family. It's ridiculous, but it filled the time.

So here's a challenge: thirty days of stories. Borrowed from here, for all to see. Let's do it.

1. Something you love.
2. A couple.
3. Write about something ugly — war, fear, hate, cruelty — but find the beauty (silver lining) in it.
4. A pair of eyeglasses.
5. Something historical.
6. Family.
7. A pet who is loved.
8. Something personal.
9. A love poem!
10. Something you hate.
11. An adventure!
12. A favorite memory…
13. “Remember that time when…”
14. Friends.
15. A happy ending.
16. A goodbye.
17. Write about your early memories of faith, religion, or spirituality; yours or someone else’s.
18. Describe a “first” (first apartment, first kiss, first time driving a car, first lie, first big success, first roller coaster ride, first time in this setting).
19. Write about one (or both) of your parents. Start with “I was born…”
20. A short fanfic.
21. Something erotic.
22. Something irritating.
23. An argument.
24. An important conversation, in the style of a movie script.
25. Describe a significant place, allowing the details to reveal why the place matters. Describe it from a tree or rooftop or from a hawk’s point of view. Describe it from the height of a dog or a turtle.
26. Yourself.
27. Write about your first name—why you were given it, what associations or stories are attached to it, what you think or know it means. Do the same for your last name. Given the chance, what name would you give yourself?
28. A suicide note.
29. An idea.
30. Choose a photograph from a published collection of black-and-whites, of humans in uncertain conditions. Write the story of one of the individuals or one of the groupings.

(here it goes) here it goes again

I'm gonna be accountable! You are going to make me accountable. No really, please help me.

Goals for Me!

• eat less! and by that I mean, just keep track of what I'm eating and try not to over eat just because it tastes good*
• no eating after 8PM
• get in bed by 11PM
• get up in time to eat something before I go to work. that way, my coffee won't be the first thing my stomach sees in the morning
• drink more water! this does not mean chew on more ice. since you know...that actually dehydrates you.
• eat less sugar. **
• exercise more (this is a biggie. I really should be able to handle at least 15-20 minutes of Just Dance 2 or Wii Yoga/Cardio most days, whether it's in the morning or at night)
• make a doctors appointment. and a dentist appointment. just do it.

*When I was younger, I was really good at intuitive eating. It helped that I had the smallest stomach known to mankind and I was super active. I didn't eat the healthiest things, but I also couldn't eat that much in one sitting, so my metabolism was awesomely fast because of my small meals every couple hours. Now, I can stuff my face and still not feel full, even though I am. It's bad. Bad news bears!

{via}

 

Get it?

**Do you KNOW how much sugar is in everything? I was contemplating doing a sugar free diet test, to try and figure out if maybe a slight intolerance is what's causing my fatigue and bloating...but that would be super difficult because 1) I have a giant-ass sweet tooth, 2) it would be hard for us to buy any kind of artificial sugar because it makes Nathan go blind and 3) sweet potatoes are not allowed. Sad. Face. But basically everything has sugar. It's ridiculous. So, I'm just going to cut down and see if that helps anything.

So...here we go. Food/Exercise for yesterday. (Keep in mind, this was before I decided enough was enough):

Breakfast: 
- Large Banana <-- starchy
- TJ's Veggie Chips...what was left in the bag. Not much. <-- sugary

Lunch:
-Michelina's Manicotti (frozen food, because I didn't get up in time to make lunch.) <--sugary
-TJ's Honey Wheat Pretzel Sticks <--sugary

Snack:
-Quaker Cheese Flavored Mini Rice Cakes. About 1/2 the bag. Bad Caitlin.
-Homemade trail mix made up of: mixed nuts, TJ's mini peanut butter cups and TJ's yogurt covered raisins. which basically means I ate peanut butter cups (sugary) and yogurt covered raisins (sugary!) But not too much of them.

Dinner:
-TJ's Cheese Tortellini <--starchy
-Chicken Breast w/ Steamed Broccoli cooked in Catalina Dressing (SUGARY!)

Dessert:
-Chai Spice Black Tea w/ honey <-- sugary...but natural sugar, at least.

Exercise:
None. Okay, that's kind of a lie because I walked to and from work. So 30 minutes of medium-strenuous walking? There's a huge hill I walk up and a down, and usually I'm kind of jogging in the morning because I'm running late!

Tada! Day One of being accountable.

delicious cocoa (wee bit wednesday)

 {one} how often do you do laundry?Usually once a week, because I'm picky about having choices as to what to wear...even though I tend to wear the same things a lot. Especially when they're new. Or comfy. Or both =) Sometimes I can stretch it to two weeks, if I'm feeling adventurous.
{two} what is your favorite type of cookie?Peanut butter with chocolate chips? But Milano cookies are really good, too. And chocolate chip. Ooh, and those shortbread cookies that come in the blue tin! I like cookies...
{three} what would you do with an extra $2000 per month?Get a gym membership and pay off credit card debt. And probably get a few new articles of clothing each month, to try and build up my wardrobe. It's lacking.
{four} what was/is your favorite subject in school?Music. I guess that isn't fair, because I then majored in it. I also enjoyed my Anthropology of Religion class in college, but that may have been because of the professor and his nutty tangents.
{five} have you ever ridden in a hot air balloon?No, but I think it would be really cool. Except that I also think I am afeared of heights (more specifically not being strapped in at heights) so that might be a problem. But I definitely want to do it at least once.
{six} what was your high school mascot?A lion! His name was Leon. Leon the Lion. And we were the Leon Lions. Original, huh?
{seven} if you had the chance to go into space, would you?Absolutely. I want to live in the Star Trek universe. But I'd settle for colonizing Mars. I'm not sure I have the skill sets they're really looking for in that instance, though..
{eight} how often do you go dancing?Oh man. Not very often anymore, since we have no money and I'm a sleepyhead who gets tired around 11pm. But back in Boston we went dancing a lot and in college, I was a dance machine.
{nine} would you rather drive or fly?I love doing both, so it depends on the trip. Really any way to travel is fine by me. I'll take a boat, train, plane or car.
{ten} have you ever been caught re-gifting?Hah. No. Mainly cause I don't re-gift. I either keep something or get rid of it, but I don't know that I've ever given it to someone else. (wanna do this to? head over to Leigh Ashley's blog and link up!) 

(p.s. sorry for the lack of actual updates, but all i've done for the past couple days is work, cook and sleep. and by "cook" i mean, make pasta and shovel it down my gaping maw. it happens. also...like my new sig?)